Grizzly Grief

This bear had a very hard time shining today.  I was too sad.  But, you know, a flashlight can't shine if it's got a bunch of gunk blocking its light.  So, I let myself cry it out for the better part of the day.  I looked at some of my friends' journals on the caringbridge.com and cried some more.  I did the dishes and sang "At This Moment" (which is the saddest song I know) and cried.  Then I was exhausted from crying, so I took a walk outside.  And I realized that one of the bad things about missing someone is the change it has made in your life.  Now, I hate change.  I'm always wishing things could be as they were.  That's just one element of grief, but it seemed like one I could at least do something about, facing this fear of change.  And so I thought I would try adding a new Christmas tradition to my life, something I hadn't done before.  For me, it was snow ice cream.  It might be hard to believe, being in the mountains and all, but I'd never made snow ice cream, and my cubs had never had it.  Let me tell you:  it is awesome.  And it made me feel a little better.  I will always miss the old, but new isn't so very bad.  Wish I could have them both, but that's just not the way it works this side of heaven.  Here's some other new traditions you might try, if you've never done them:

• a Christmas plant like paperwhites or amarylis or any type of bulb really, or a Christmas cactus
• add Kwanza or Hanukkah traditions to your celebration 
• some other kind of food you might have never had; figgy pudding?  
• some new Christmas music - you can download some songs free at Target.com

If you are grieving or feeling abandoned at this time of year, know that you're not alone.  And you don't have to have someone die to be grieving for the loss of them in your life.  If things are really bad, reach out.  Find more tips here:  http://griefnet.org/library/coping.html

A Beary Nice Thought

A bear can get depressed this time of year.  I think of all the Christmases when I was a cub, how we didn't worry about food or clothes.  We had plenty of room in our homes and hope in our hearts.  The Grandpaws were still alive and the lights in the Granny Bears' eyes were bright.  The future seemed so bright there was even a song about it.  Little did we know...  But I have to remind myself that this is really an opportunity to see that the only thing eternal that we can cling to is God.  And this is his birthday.  He came to Earth as just another child born into a poor family, a nobody.  An he taught us that in the coldest, darkest times of our lives, we can shine the brightest.  Find a way to shine this week.

The Dainty Den

How does a bear make the most of her den when it is smallish?  I think that my sister, Honeybee, makes the most of her surroundings.  I don't have a scanner, or I would draw a picture of her den and post it.   However, the picture here comes close.  Our homes are very similiar but the thing to keep in mind here is that she has four cubs! So, the twin beds here are actually two sets of bunk beds.  Three of her cubs sleep in there, and baby bear will join them in a couple of years.  Baby sleeps in the master bedroom, to the left of Honeybee and her hubby.  They have bins that slip under the beds for additional storage.  Both bedrooms also each have a chest of drawers near the closets.  Cozy!

The Beary Perfect Christmas Stocking

All for  under $10.  I got this at the Target dollar section near the front door, but you could get the same stuff for the same price at The Dollar Tree.

Santa Hat or Stocking (we have stockings, I thought I'd do hats)
box of mini chocolate Santas
peppermint twist lollipops
wooden vehicle or rubber toy (I got the boys either a bus, a firetruck, or an airplane.  I got the girls each ice cream trucks b/c they were pastel. I got a rubber, squeaky Christmas tree for the baby.)
a board book for the little ones or small calendar for the older ones
lip balm in holiday flavors
a pair of winter gloves / mittens or a hats
a pack of silly bands

I think they'll love it.

Bear Family Adventures

Get some paper and crayons and have your kids make a couple of Christmas cards.  Make one for Granny Bear and one for a recovering soldier.  Send the second one to:  A Recovering American Soldier, c/o Walter Reed ArmyMedical Center, 6900 Georgia Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20307-5001. 

What's A Bear To Wear?

Sometimes what keeps a bear from going to church or to a holiday party is that they feel like they don't have anything appropriate to wear. I say that maybe they are too hard on themselves. For the ladies, I think that just a red sweater and some black pants work fine. Black shoes if you've got 'em, they don't have to be fancy. A long necklace flatters most anybody.  If you can talk the significant other into attending with you, most places are happy just to see him in a collared shirt. I like a man in flannel. Clean jeans and clean shoes. Boots would look good with the flannel. Same for the boy cubs. I always think a boy looks cute dressed up like his daddy. For your girl cub, I say dress her up for as long as she'll let you. Most of the Thrift Stores around here don't have a lot of kids' clothes, but I can usually find a dressy dress. Sometimes I can only find dresses that look Springtimey, but I can still keep baby girl warm by putting a long sleeve t-shirt under it and tights or leggings and socks. The one thrift store around here has a lot of shoes, but if I can't find shoes for my kids there, I go to the consignment shops. I've found that the clothes and other things at the consignment shops are overpriced, but their price for shoes is usually reasonable.  Any kind of Mary Jane style shoe with the strap would be good.  Don't worry about the whole rule of no white after Labor Day, that's old.  Just keep in mind, God doesn't care what you wear.  You dress up when you go to church to show that you think it's an important and sacred place.  And you dress up for a holiday party for the fun of it and to feel good about yourself.  You don't have to be perfect.  You just have to be you.

A Beary Nice Thought

Today is church day in bear woods, and whether you are going to attend a religious institution or not, I want you to know this: give yourself a new beginning. Think of all the people who hurt you, but still you wake up every morning, forgiving them, giving them a second chance, or a third, or a fourth, or a five-hundredth. You need to do the same for yourself.